After the NBA fined him $100,000, Kobe released the following "i'm sorry that you misunderstood my words"-type non-apology:
"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone."
So Kobe didn't mean to imply that Bernie Adams was in fact gay. He wasn't hypothesizing about Adams' sexuality or ridiculing the gay and lesbian community at large. He was just angry. And in the heat of a moment, calling someone a "faggot" is pretty much the same as calling them an "asshole" right?
Wrong.
Wrong because the f-word is more than just a word - it carries a sentiment of hatred and oppression. it has a history of violence and abuse. And people have been beaten and killed over the word. The sentiment has led to exclusionary legislation like Don't Ask Don't Tell and California's Proposition 8. On the flipside, it has also inspired the powerful legacy of Harvey Milk and the fearless dignity that emerged during the Stonewall Riots (more on that below). Most significantly, it's shaped LGBTQ communities of color, like the Combahee River Collective, to provide visions for collective liberation and solidarity.
Jay Smooth on "Christopher Street Boys":
All too often in sports, homophobic slurs are thrown around to challenge an opponent's strength and manhood. "Gay" and "faggot" is immediately linked to "weak" and "soft." Calling someone "gay" is in essence an assertion of male dominance - like saying "I'm more manly than you." under these toxic conditions, the result of the game is only the means to an end. The ends is physical, emotional and psychological domination over an opponent or challenger. Just like in war - boys killing other boys to prove their manhood.
When a singular vision of masculinity is assumed in sports. A strange sense of athletic exceptionalism emerges - a blend of "god-given ability", hard work, and traditional patriarchal roles (alpha, warrior, breadwinner, father, stud). Anyone that does not measure up to that particular (and arbitrary) standard is viewed as weak, soft and less of a man. Especially in the homoerotic context of sport, the socially-constructed standard of manhood is both contradictory and destructive.
Personally, the most interesting aspect of sport is the raw humanity: cheering for the underdog, last-minute upsets, the growth of an athlete, striving for limits, breaking records. And little by little, that humanity is being stripped away. With each steroid scandal, each hometown hero that abandons their fans, each corporate sponsorship and each athlete living above the law, I lose that sense of connection. Kobe made a mistake and said some hurtful stuff. but rather than reacting, let's get to the source of the pain. Let's transform the culture that has allowed such language to be carelessly thrown around. Let's cherish our athletes for being imperfect, vulnerable, human. Let's view sports as friendly competition rather than aggressive domination. And let's exchange a handshake or hug afterwards.
Related: a beautiful show of solidarity between fans and players in Brazil in support of a gay team member.
yo i love what you said at the end about the humanity of sports and how those imperfections draw us into the stories. but i think the problem is the media takes their role and blows things out of proportion. tiger has a string of affairs; barry bonds takes steriods; michael vick endorses dogfighting; kobe uses offensive slur during game. all of these incidents are frowned upon, some are illegal, and they all had a negative affect on the player. but there is one major difference between kobe's mistake and that of the other athletes i mentioned. kobe's slip up was not premeditated. while the other athletes had time to think about their actions and ramifications, and had time to right their wrongs before publicly known, kobe regretfully said something in the heat of the moment.
ReplyDeletekobe never should have said what he said, but shit happens in the moment and you can do or say something you don't mean. anyone and everyone who's ever played a sport passionately can attest to that. i've wanted to knock the fuck out other players on the basketball court before, but thats just cuz i was in the moment. i didn't really wanna hurt them. i didn't really mean what i said about their mothers. i didn't even know them, and i'm sure they're good people and their girlfriends aren't doorknobs.
peace cal-
ReplyDeletethere's alot to be said about how political issues are dealt with (or not) in sports. i have a huge problem with punishing individuals rather than deeply examining the problem.. barry bonds isn't the cause of steroids in sports, mike vick isn't the cause of dogfighting, etc.
on kobe - shitting on him (and his psa on "words can be hurtful") don't address the root cause of homophobia. intentional/premeditated or not, the problem is deeper than "don't say these hurtful words." homophobia is embedded in our culture, and these moments are openings for deeper discussion.. much work is to be done to transform and align our values with how we show up in the public arena.