After the NBA fined him $100,000, Kobe released the following "i'm sorry that you misunderstood my words"-type non-apology:
"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone."
So Kobe didn't mean to imply that Bernie Adams was in fact gay. He wasn't hypothesizing about Adams' sexuality or ridiculing the gay and lesbian community at large. He was just angry. And in the heat of a moment, calling someone a "faggot" is pretty much the same as calling them an "asshole" right?
Wrong.
Wrong because the f-word is more than just a word - it carries a sentiment of hatred and oppression. it has a history of violence and abuse. And people have been beaten and killed over the word. The sentiment has led to exclusionary legislation like Don't Ask Don't Tell and California's Proposition 8. On the flipside, it has also inspired the powerful legacy of Harvey Milk and the fearless dignity that emerged during the Stonewall Riots (more on that below). Most significantly, it's shaped LGBTQ communities of color, like the Combahee River Collective, to provide visions for collective liberation and solidarity.
Jay Smooth on "Christopher Street Boys":
All too often in sports, homophobic slurs are thrown around to challenge an opponent's strength and manhood. "Gay" and "faggot" is immediately linked to "weak" and "soft." Calling someone "gay" is in essence an assertion of male dominance - like saying "I'm more manly than you." under these toxic conditions, the result of the game is only the means to an end. The ends is physical, emotional and psychological domination over an opponent or challenger. Just like in war - boys killing other boys to prove their manhood.
When a singular vision of masculinity is assumed in sports. A strange sense of athletic exceptionalism emerges - a blend of "god-given ability", hard work, and traditional patriarchal roles (alpha, warrior, breadwinner, father, stud). Anyone that does not measure up to that particular (and arbitrary) standard is viewed as weak, soft and less of a man. Especially in the homoerotic context of sport, the socially-constructed standard of manhood is both contradictory and destructive.
Personally, the most interesting aspect of sport is the raw humanity: cheering for the underdog, last-minute upsets, the growth of an athlete, striving for limits, breaking records. And little by little, that humanity is being stripped away. With each steroid scandal, each hometown hero that abandons their fans, each corporate sponsorship and each athlete living above the law, I lose that sense of connection. Kobe made a mistake and said some hurtful stuff. but rather than reacting, let's get to the source of the pain. Let's transform the culture that has allowed such language to be carelessly thrown around. Let's cherish our athletes for being imperfect, vulnerable, human. Let's view sports as friendly competition rather than aggressive domination. And let's exchange a handshake or hug afterwards.
Related: a beautiful show of solidarity between fans and players in Brazil in support of a gay team member.
