On Masculinity and Homophobia, Part 2: A Refection on Sports and What "Soft" Means

Kobe Bryant was caught on camera repeatedly calling referee Bernie Adams a "faggot" in a nationally televised game earlier this week. This incident opened up a whole can of worms: is there a culture of hyper-masculinity and homophobia in sports? (definitely) Are there closeted gay players currently? (probably) Is fining an athlete for his hateful outburst the solution? (obviously not)

After the NBA fined him $100,000, Kobe released the following "i'm sorry that you misunderstood my words"-type non-apology:

"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone."

So Kobe didn't mean to imply that Bernie Adams was in fact gay. He wasn't hypothesizing about Adams' sexuality or ridiculing the gay and lesbian community at large. He was just angry. And in the heat of a moment, calling someone a "faggot" is pretty much the same as calling them an "asshole" right?

Wrong.

Wrong because the f-word is more than just a word - it carries a sentiment of hatred and oppression. it has a history of violence and abuse. And people have been beaten and killed over the word. The sentiment has led to exclusionary legislation like Don't Ask Don't Tell and California's Proposition 8. On the flipside, it has also inspired the powerful legacy of Harvey Milk and the fearless dignity that emerged during the Stonewall Riots (more on that below). Most significantly, it's shaped LGBTQ communities of color, like the Combahee River Collective, to provide visions for collective liberation and solidarity.

Jay Smooth on "Christopher Street Boys":

All too often in sports, homophobic slurs are thrown around to challenge an opponent's strength and manhood. "Gay" and "faggot" is immediately linked to "weak" and "soft." Calling someone "gay" is in essence an assertion of male dominance - like saying "I'm more manly than you." under these toxic conditions, the result of the game is only the means to an end. The ends is physical, emotional and psychological domination over an opponent or challenger. Just like in war - boys killing other boys to prove their manhood.

When a singular vision of masculinity is assumed in sports. A strange sense of athletic exceptionalism emerges - a blend of "god-given ability", hard work, and traditional patriarchal roles (alpha, warrior, breadwinner, father, stud). Anyone that does not measure up to that particular (and arbitrary) standard is viewed as weak, soft and less of a man. Especially in the homoerotic context of sport, the socially-constructed standard of manhood is both contradictory and destructive.

Personally, the most interesting aspect of sport is the raw humanity: cheering for the underdog, last-minute upsets, the growth of an athlete, striving for limits, breaking records. And little by little, that humanity is being stripped away. With each steroid scandal, each hometown hero that abandons their fans, each corporate sponsorship and each athlete living above the law, I lose that sense of connection. Kobe made a mistake and said some hurtful stuff. but rather than reacting, let's get to the source of the pain. Let's transform the culture that has allowed such language to be carelessly thrown around. Let's cherish our athletes for being imperfect, vulnerable, human. Let's view sports as friendly competition rather than aggressive domination. And let's exchange a handshake or hug afterwards.

Related: a beautiful show of solidarity between fans and players in Brazil in support of a gay team member.

On Masculinity and Homophobia, Part 1: A Reflection on Hip Hop, Malcolm and More

Homophobia and transphobia was at the forefront of much public discussion this week: legendary DJ Mister Cee was arrested for allegedly having sex with a transwoman. And in Manning Marable's new biography of Malcolm X, the author hints that Malcolm was in a homosexual relationship.

This allegation is especially significant when thinking about all that Malcolm represents. Ossie Davis eulogizes Malcolm as "our manhood. our living Black manhood.. our own Black shining prince." Malcolm represented a specific paradigm of Black masculinity for those who know what it is to struggle.

Early hip hop groups have run with this renewed sense of what it is to be a Black man in amerika: powerful, aggressive, lawless, threatening to the white establishment. This NWA identity (and a few others) was deeply ingrained in the public consciousness of mainstream amerika until Barack Obama flipped the script - making it cool for Black men strive for lifestyles previously reserved for white folk and Uncle Toms.

As usual, reader comments are the real story in the reaction to the Mister Cee and Malcolm X. Many (if not most) comments were rooted in conservative and oppressive views of gender and sexuality. Reader comments either protected their martyr or ridiculed anyone who could possibly have sex with a trans person. Either way, publicly revealing much discomfort with challenging traditional views of gender and sexuality. (A new biography claiming Mahatma Gandhi was in a homosexual relationship evoked similar responses.)

Kanye West once profoundly stated that "being gay" is the opposite of "being hip hop." He points to hip hop being a hyper-masculine culture - where in violence and misogyny are normalized. In this culture, challenging one's "manhood" is a diss. And accusing someone of being gay is the ultimate form of disrespect. So the hip hop community's response to Mister Cee's arrest sadly should not be surprising.

Jay Smooth on The Gay Hip Hop Book:

While rap music is notorious for misogyny and homophobia, it is a symptom of a much larger problem. Several archetypes have emerged for men in hip hop: the drug dealer, the pimp, the gangster.. hardly uplifting or positive. The deeper truth is that little space is made for Black men who fall somewhere between Barack Obama and 50 Cent - a dichotomy the Baracka Flocka Flames video satirically points at.

The more we are able to deconstruct what it is to be "a man", the closer we are towards ending homophobia and misogyny. In the context of hip hop, that means defying the paradigms of manhood in the culture. That means men must redefine themselves internally and in relation to others. Men must be comfortable being their human selves, rather than playing a character. They must stop asserting violence to signify power and women to signify virility. And they must must must stop with the "no homo" and "pause" stuff.